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Political Jokes

#1 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 03:49 PM

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno


America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno


Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien


Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno


Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman




Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon


Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel


Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman
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#2 User is offline   Hankey 

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:29 PM

Now that's funny right there.
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#3 User is offline   Badger Bob 

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:36 PM

Letterman didn't tell those two jokes!!! Unpossible!!!
It's A Great Day for Hockey!!!

Stay out of my profile Goulet!!!
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#4 User is offline   FanSince74 

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:44 PM

Hollywood is telling Obama jokes????



*faints*
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#5 User is online   Astro_Mikey 

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 04:47 PM

Some are funny.

View PostBadger Bob, on 05 March 2012 - 04:36 PM, said:

Letterman didn't tell those two jokes!!! Unpossible!!!


Snopes.com would agree. Going to guess chain e-mail due to the Q/A style rather than dead pan deliveries. But who knows. The internet is a strange and wonderous place.



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#6 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 11:56 AM

Who cares who said them, funny is funny!
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#7 User is online   billvill 

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 11:58 AM

The man don't lie.
"Get to your game, boys"
"Coach, our game isn't working"
"Well, grind some bitches, then"

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Man, that sixth one stung...

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#8 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 12:03 PM

The pilot was dead and the plane was going down and there were 3 passengers; President Obama, a school kid and an old man, but there were only two parachutes...

The President immediately grabbed a pack and roared, "I am the leader of the free world and my life is too important."....

The President jumped out of the plane leaving the old man and child behind....

The old man, handed the child a parachute and said, "I am an old man and have lived my life, please take the last parachute and lead a good life."....

The boy responded, "That was my book bag that man grabbed."
:lol:
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#9 User is online   billvill 

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 12:04 PM

View PostMucker&Grinder, on 06 March 2012 - 12:03 PM, said:

The pilot was dead and the plane was going down and there were 3 passengers, President Obama, a school kid and an old man, but there were only two parachutes...

The President immediately grabbed a pack and roared, "I am the leader of the free world and my life is too important."....

The President jumped out of the plane leaving the old man and child behind....

The old man, handed the child a parachute and said, "I am an old man and have lived my life, please take the last parachute and lead a good life."....

The boy responded, "That was my book bag that man grabbed."
:ph34r:

:lol:
"Get to your game, boys"
"Coach, our game isn't working"
"Well, grind some bitches, then"

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Man, that sixth one stung...

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#10 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 02:23 PM

Why are you people (And when I say "you", you know what I mean!) not posting your political jokes!

I need entertained damit! :rolleyes:
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#11 User is offline   Robert Goulet 

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 02:37 PM

How do you know when Obama is lying?

He opens his mouth.

(Old lawyer joke)
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

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#12 User is online   billvill 

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 06:25 AM

Saw this in an insurance company's window while waiting to pick up my daughter the other day. :unsure:

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"Get to your game, boys"
"Coach, our game isn't working"
"Well, grind some bitches, then"

Posted Image

Man, that sixth one stung...

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#13 User is offline   FanSince74 

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 08:53 AM

View Postbillvill, on 15 March 2012 - 06:25 AM, said:

Saw this in an insurance company's window while waiting to pick up my daughter the other day. :P

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That is good.
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#14 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 02:44 PM

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#15 User is offline   coach bob 

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 06:06 AM

View Postbillvill, on 15 March 2012 - 06:25 AM, said:

Saw this in an insurance company's window while waiting to pick up my daughter the other day. :unsure:

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They have those as bumper stickers for vehicles too
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#16 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 04:56 PM

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#17 User is offline   Robert Goulet 

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 04:57 PM

:(

:lol:
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#18 User is offline   Mucker&Grinder 

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 05:02 PM

A Republican entered a restaurant in a wheelchair one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. He looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?”

The waitress nodded “yes,” so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus over there?”

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to take Jesus a cup of hot tea. “My treat,” he said.

Another patron, a Democrat, came into the restaurant on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and asked for a cold beer. He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, “Isn’t that God’s boy over there?”

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. “On my bill,” he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Republican felt the strength surge back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The horrified Democrat jumped to his feet and screamed, “Don’t touch me! I’m collecting disability!”
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#19 User is offline   Robert Goulet 

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 05:10 PM

Oh snap! :(
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#20 User is online   billvill 

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 05:12 PM

:(
"Get to your game, boys"
"Coach, our game isn't working"
"Well, grind some bitches, then"

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Man, that sixth one stung...

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